from a tiny spark

Originally published at Skyspun.org. You can comment here or there.

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted something here… I was going to do the next day in my 30 Days of Truth project, but decided to wander from that for a moment because I really need to express something.

My gratitude.

I never in my dreams expected to get the feedback and encouragement that I did from my last post. I suppose while I was writing it, I wasn’t thinking of how it could have backfired in my face until I started to see all your comments of acceptance and admiration for writing what I did. It was then that I realized how much I needed to hear it. How much I really needed to feel like it was ok. I was ok.

Blogging has been a part of my life for a little over decade now (my god, has it really been that long?) and I can honestly say that I don’t think I have ever felt so embraced by the virtual world as I did when I started reading your words.

So, thank you. Thank you for telling me that what I did was the right decision. Thank you for taking a moment out of your busy lives and reading a rambly post about something stupid that a random girl you didn’t know did when she was young. And thank you – from the bottom of my heart – for making me feel accepted and not judged.

Because of you, I am able to let go of that little slice that has been digging at me for years. I am a better person today, simply because you opened your heart and let me into it.

Originally published at Skyspun.org. You can comment here or there.

An oldie but a goodie found in my Flickr photostream.

I have spent the last 24 hours sitting in front of this computer screen, attempting to create Jessica Gallagher.com. I purchased it what seems like forever ago, but have yet to actually make a portfolio out of it. It’s been so long since I’ve actually coded something, I felt like a fish out of water. It’s a good thing there’s a door to this office, because I’m pretty sure I’ve called the computer every name in the book (and a few ones that never made it to the book). It probably would have helped if I had some sort of plan, or idea of how I wanted the site to actually look like… but that would have been something called “planning ahead” and I’ve never been too good at that. I have to say that I’m pretty pleased with the way it’s going. And, surprisingly, it actually is looking the way I had envisioned it in my mind. Which is saying a lot, because that just doesn’t happen when it comes to me and code.

I’ve forgotten how much I really love creating websites. I mean, granted, I’m no genius. And now that I’m not in my angsty teen phase, I’ve noticed that most of my friends have grown up and actually do this shit for a living – so my knowledge is nowhere near as great as most people I know. I’ve fallen out of the proverbial code loop, as it were… but there’s just something about it. It’s been a very long time since I have sat in front of a computer for a full weekend, staring at the screen until my eyes cross, swearing at a string of code that just won’t work until I feel like giving up, then feeling like I’ve won the lottery when I fix it. Last night I could barely fall asleep, because I was thinking about how to make things work. Plans of ideas of what I wanted to do. I actually dreamed about coding last night. I can’t remember the last time that happened.

I have a love-hate relationship with web design. Sort of like the relationship I’ve developed with photography. I’m beginning to think all my relationships with things are love-hate. But the love part of it totally makes up for everything else.

Originally published at Skyspun.org. You can comment here or there.

I don’t think I’ve ever gone so long without writing on my blog.

I wish I had more motivation. More inspiration. More something that would make me want to do something here. I keep thinking about what I want to do with this place, but then I feel like everyone has moved on because I haven’t shown anyone any interest in their places, so why should I bother with my own?

I think I want to turn this into a photo blog. But then again, in order to do that, I actually have to start taking pictures again. And sadly, I have neglected my camera about as much as I’ve neglected Skyspun.

This will change. I just need to get off my ass (or maybe get on my ass) and create a new home for myself here. I don’t want to leave this. I love this place too much. It just needs a bit of… an overhaul. I need to reinvent what I want to accomplish here.

But I will accomplish something.

Originally published at Skyspun.org. You can comment here or there.

Bah.

Yesterday I was all excited to spend the day today working on my photo site.  I said to Simon, “There are two things I am doing tomorrow: folding laundry and sitting at the computer and doing website stuff.  THAT IS IT.”  But I slept really terribly last night, and I am in the worst mood today and have lost all motivation to do anything.  I would probably crawl back into bed and fall asleep if it wasn’t for the fact that my sister is blaring Taking Back Sunday’s “Louder Now” at top level.  I knew there was a reason I hadn’t made her that CD.

A few Sundays ago I had attended my grandparents’ party they were throwing for my mother’s birthday.  It was the first time I had really spent an entire event just snapping away, but I was really pleased with the photographs I had collected.  One of my favorites is above, which is a portrait of my cousin’s son, Caleb.

Oh, and it looks like we did get the loan for the mortgage.  We’ll hopefully be closing in the next few weeks, and be able to move in by the beginning of next month.  I was so very excited when it turned out that we could find someone who got us approved… even though it meant we had to put a ton of more money down than we had anticipated, and we’ll be using up most of Simon’s disability payment… which we were planning on keeping in his bank account in New Zealand to save money.  So much for that, I guess.  But, if it means we get the house then it’s worth it.  I’m happy, but I’m exhausted.  And stressed.  And I will be so much better off once we get the keys to the house and move in.  Until then I feel like my stomach is littered with ulcers.

I feel like a complete bitch right now and I just want to sleep, so I think I should end this for now.  Later will be better.  Promise.

I've decided that I want to start a photography site of my own.  Nothing fancy, just something to kind of "showcase" my nicer photography.  The stuff I'm actually kind of proud of.  I paid for a Flickr pro account, which will be up in July and I haven't decided whether or not I'm actually going to renew it or not.  Flickr is nice, and all... and very easy... but I want something where I can show my "nice" photography in a pretty fashion.

And there in lies the problem, because I have no idea where to start with a gallery/photography/showcase script for a site.  Does anyone have any suggestions for scripts?  A friend of mine commented that the Mobile<em>Me</em> gallery is really nice (and after watching a video on it, it <em>is</em> extremely sleek and smooth), but after the free-trial ends it's a $99 annual fee.  Iiiiii don't know about that.  I'd like to think I can figure something else out a bit cheaper.

So... any suggestions, recommendations, what have you... They are welcome.  I am awaiting your help.

*waits*

Oh.  Please and thank you.

Originally published at Skyspun.org. You can comment here or there.

No, not that C-word, you delinquents.  I’m talking about “calories.”  And before you hit that little “x” over at the top of your browser, because you could give two shits about calorie-counting and/or dieting, let me explain.  Because I am possibly the least health conscious person on the planet.  But after watching “The Early Show” yesterday, they mentioned an iPhone/iPod Touch application that sounded kind of cool.  So I downloaded it.

And let me tell you, it’s fucking awesome.

It’s called “Lose It!” and, amazingly, it’s free.  When you first load the app, you pretty much plug in your current weight, your goal weight, your birthday, height, and how many pounds you want to lose a week (it gives you the option of 1/2, 1, 2 or more, I believe)… and then it tells you what your alloted daily calorie-intake is.  But that’s all child’s play… You could do that in a paper journal if you wanted to, right?  WAIT. The amazing thing is that you add food, and it already has the calorie-count.  It has thousands of different foods and the nutrient-information stored already!  So, you had an Arby’s Roast Beef sandwich for lunch?  Poof.  It’s right there, and tells you the calories for you.  So it automatically keeps tracks of your calories for you and even breaks it down to how many you’ve had for each meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack).  It also gives you the option to record your exercise, too.  So say you did some vacuuming after work?  Ta-dah!  It’s on the huge-long list of exercises (including “sexual activity” which has different levels of “intensity” to choose from, which had me giggling like a little Catholic School Girl)… All you have to do is put in how long and it counts how many calories you’ve burned.  It gives you a nice little graph to show your progress and everything.  It’s freaking amazing.

And for me to think this app is amazing - the girl who will eat McDonald’s at 3am if she so feels inclined - I can’t imagine how much the program would impress a weight-conscious person.

I’m sorry.  I’m not usually like this about this health crap.  I usually could care less.  And most of the time if I come across a blog that is talking about said health crap, I immediately find my way to the nearest kitchen and find a fat-filled snack.  But, I just couldn’t help but spread the word on this amazingly awesome, cool, intelligent application.  And I would definitely recommend it to anyone who has an iPod Touch or iPhone, because if anything - it’s cool to see how much you’re really stuffing down your throat on a daily basis.  And I have a feeling once this app starts getting more popular, they’re going to slap a price tag on it so it won’t be free anymore.

/ end ridiculously long rave about something no one cares about.

In other news, I tweaked the layout a bit, and I have to say I am insanely impressed with myself.  Being fairly code-illiterate, I managed to make everything work.  Perfectly.  EXCEPT for the damn Twitter and Last.FM widget headers… which for some ungodly reason have it coded somewhere that the headers should be links to the sites.  AND IT PISSES ME OFF.  I don’t want it to look like a link.  I want it to look like a header.  Which is, you know, why it’s a HEADER AND NOT A LINK. If anyone has any idea where I can find the code to take the damn link tag out of there, I will give you my first born or something.  Ok, maybe a cookie.

I was going to make a post yesterday with a YouTube video for some music and make a point to have “Mix Tape Monday” on my blog, so I can share my wonderful love affair with music not many has heard of, but, as usual - I procrastinated and I got lazy.  And realized that most of you probably wouldn’t care about YouTube videos and all my efforts would be in vain.  So instead?  I ate Sun Chips.

Originally published at Skyspun.org. You can comment here or there.

I’ve started a new theme for Skyspun. Nothing really that special, but it was inspired by a background image I stole from some flower shop website.

I really need to take a shower, because I feel cold and grungy, but my grandparents and aunt are here for dinner and I feel weird going up there in my bathrobe to shower. Maybe I’ll just be bold and do it anyway. Last night I took a shower before I went to bed, and I was more comfortable than I had been in weeks.

Of course, that could have been due to the fact that I was freaking exhausted and it was after midnight, and I had taken a little dose of Ambien to help the sleep cycle on.

It’s going to bother me that I didn’t finish the layout tonight, and I know I’m going to lay in bed and think about it, but my back hurts and my eyes are a little blurry and I need to go lay down… So it will just have to wait. Plus I want to start reading my newest “Night World” book by L. J. Smith (and it just dawned on me that I finished volume one and went straight on to volume three by accident, skipping volume two. Oops. Luckily I’ve already read them all.) Maybe I’ll go and do that.

But first? A shower. I think.

Originally published at Skyspun.org. You can comment here or there.

I apologize to anyone who had attempted to leave a comment on my last post but wasn’t able to.  I had downloaded the Wordpress application for iPhone, which wouldn’t allow me to add my blog to the app until I had an SSL with the domain.  After researching online a bit, I found that there was an SSL admin plug-in for Wordpress that was supposed to work.  I installed it and followed the directions… and viola!  The WP app worked on my iPhone.

I was really excited until Shannon mentioned on Twitter today that she couldn’t leave a comment on my site.  When I tried to sign back into WP’s dashboard, it didn’t load… giving me some sort of error for the URL, which was now a secured URL.  I ended up going onto my FTP and deleting the SSL plug-in.  I attempted to re-activate it and see if I could play around with it… but to no avail.

In short?  You can comment on my site again, but I won’t be using the WP admin on my iPhone anytime soon until they figure out how to allow me to add my blog without SSL.  Growl.

In other news, I am quite dizzy.  Wow.  I just fell off the bed.  Suddenly my Ambiem CR is hitting me full force and Simon is afraid of me.  So I think it’d bed time.  Comment away!